The POWer of Words

The POWer of Words – Are yours hurting or healing?
It’s Monday! What does that mean for you? For me, another day to thank an awesome God! I would’ve been happy thanking Him while lying in bed watching court shows all day too! But, the week has started and I’m ready for it!

Over the weekend I found myself using my words to kill someone’s hope. It wasn’t done on purpose, but that’s completely irrelevant because it was done and someone I would take a bullet for was hurt. Initially when it happened I thought nothing of it, other than I was speaking truth. I never took into consideration how this person may feel or how my words may pierce their heart. The only thing I cared about was releasing what was on my lips, hurtful or not.

Your words carry life, fill them with love.

I received a call late last night concerning what was said (because I felt I would use Facebook as a platform and let everyone see me hurt the person I love). “Angel that was harsh and it was not beneficial to her situation.” Immediately I felt the heaviness of my words. It took someone to bring it to my attention, not out of hurt but out of love.

I wrestled with my pride and the feeling of wanting to hold on to my need to be right. I wanted to hold on to the thought that I couldn’t be wrong because I would never hurt someone I love. I was overwhelmed with conviction. Make this right. I didn’t apologize that she misunderstood me and I didn’t apologize for possibly offending her. I apologized for offending and hurting her.  I violated her right to hurt with a need to speak my mind.

“Don’t say sorry because I’m hurt, say sorry because you’re hurt.” -unknown

It can be so hard to not say something that’s in your heart and creeping to the tip of your tongue, but ask yourself: Will my words uplift or put-down this person? Will my words speak life or death over their life? Are my words being spoken out of love or frustration? Are the next words I utter out of my mouth worth our relationship ending? How much do I really love this person? Could it be enough to not purposely hurt them?

Limit your speech and increase your prayer!

Let’s make wrong right. Have your words caused a wedge between your relationships? Is your pride standing in the way of your apology? Apologize! Show them you care enough about them, the relationship and yourself to free everyone from your mistake. It’s so easy to come down on others when we think we’re above them. Who cares about pride when someone you love is hurting? Who cares about your need to be right when you’ve lost a relationship with someone you love over something you said in a mindset that wasn’t a part of the foundation that helped build the relationship? Seriously, who cares?

Let it all go, apologize and mend those lifelong relationships! Love is worth it!

Fear List

Creating and completing short term goals toward your long term reality is how one gets from I want to I am.
Fear List? What are you not talking about Angel?! I’m glad you asked. List your fears. Organize them if you want to. What fear are you putting a target on? It could be small to others but a big deal to you!

For example, the top of my fear list says ‘hold a tarantula”. Right, not just a spider, but a nasty, hairy, scary tarantula! Go big or go home! If you’re going to take a risk, the strength and Faith involved can’t be up to you!

This isn’t an I already know what I’m doing-risk! Who you were created to BE is OUTSIDE of the person you’re tired of pretending to be. STEP ON THE OTHER SIDE!

I’ve had issues with fear and I’ve noticed that most of what I fear is the negative endings I’ve rehearsed over and over in my head that never happen! Do bad things happen? Sure. But I guarantee if you change your thinking you’ll notice more good things happen! Prepare for the positive. Now that’s different!

So! What fear are you going to plug with your FAITH this week? Quitting the job? Calling that friend you miss regardless who was wrong? Act on the dream God placed in you? Set boundaries in toxic relationships or get real bold and choose to love yourself enough to let them go?  Put color on your nails? (That seems simple right? To others it is a dramatic change, but one that can most definitely be conquered!)

Really think about it. Pray about it. There’s no passing or failing. Declare right now that God did not give me a spirit of fear and we (myself and God) got this! No seriously, stop reading and DECLARE.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
1.Pray
2.Name the fear.

3.Pray

4.Create an action plan toward facing it. – Position yourself (In my case, go to a pet shop!)

5.Pray

6.Get an accountability partner – Tell someone what you’re doing, they’ll be good for helping you keep your word!

7.Pray

8.Seek any obstacles standing in your way of overcoming and shut them down!

9.Pray

10.Name the next fear in line :) – By this time your Faith has surely sent a good amount of what you thought you feared straight to the pits of hell, but keep executing them!

DON’T STOP MOVING FORWARD.

Moving Forward [after the heart break]

There is good and/or bad residue left in every relationship once it is over, but you don’t have to leave the pieces that help you build the foundation for new relationships behind.

So often I hear women complaining to their friends about the appearance of their ex’s new girlfriend. They comment on her style, her looks, what she drives, where she works and how he will never find anyone like her. Only simple minded individuals will look at a situation from this perspective. Strong relationships are not built on looks, style and money; they’re built on trust, communication and the response your heart gives when you’re with that person.

The most beautiful people in the world are lonely, and there are plenty of rich people who are not fulfilled, not because they don’t look like a nice arm piece, but because a whole person understands and knows that those are not the things a relationship that is searching for happily ever after are built upon.

There are people who are only concerned with how you look, how much you can give them and what you can do for them, but for those who are seeking REAL-ationships, there is an understanding that it takes more than money and looks to make a relationship successful because neither of the two are permanent.

Start with entering the healing process. The healing process does not automatically go into effect at the ending of a relationship; it is something you have to choose to activate.  Accept that the relationship is over, regardless who ended it. Clear your head of any unforgiveness and or resentment and ask God to purify your heart.

During this process learn to be alone.  A part of heartache is familiarity. You’ve become accustomed to having someone to create memories and share experiences with, and having that routine abruptly interrupted can sometimes be challenging. Treat yourself to dinner or maybe go shopping for a new outfit and those perfect pair of pumps!  Become your own best friend. Find out who you are, how you’ve changed and zoom in on the positive and negative things that you took from the relationship.

Revamp your outlook, perspective and reasoning, refocus your wants, needs and boundaries and repair yourself to prepare for the next relationship once your heart and mind are ready to enter.

The time between relationships is not to squeeze someone else in or to fill your head space with negativity concerning the new girl in your ex’s life, but to think about what you’ve learned and how you will move forward with all of the pieces!

The Note

Growing up my grandmother always left notes around so we knew what to do while she was out. “Brush your teeth, take the trash out, be sure to comb your hair, oh and my favorite; don’t open the door for anyone, even if you know them!” I guess if it wasn’t for granny we would’ve been an absolute mess!

As we got older the to-do list from others continued, but became an unwritten note: Be sure to graduate, respect your elders, get and keep a job, conform so you’re not a weirdo or God forbid you become your own person! AAHHH!

Here’s my question. What unwritten notes are you still  living by? Whose expectations are you trying to meet? What did God tell you? Are you listening to Him or man?

I was watching an episode of ‘Iyanla: Fix My Life’ and Iyanla said something that has stuck with me;

“SOMETIMES YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PISS PEOPLE OFF.”
To me that said, everyone can’t have their way when it comes to the life that God has given me.

Cristiano Ronaldo: “If God Can’t Please Everyone, I Won’t Either”

My declaration.
I’m no longer living my life according to the note, but instead according to His word.
I’m no longer ignoring God to remain controlled and bound to obtain false favor from man.
I’m no longer living my life for you, but for His glory!

What is your declaration ? What are you declaring right here right now?

How I Survived My Solo Trip to Guatemala & Why I Was Ready for it to Be Over

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The view from where I was staying!

 

 

June 23rd 2013 I traveled to Antigua, Guatemala all by myself! What an amazing trip it was, buy boy was I ready for it to be over!

Let’s back up about a year. I started researching ways to volunteer and give back + wanting to visit a Spanish speaking country, I decided to look for opportunities abroad. My hopes and dreams were buried in Mexico – I love the people, the language and it would be one hell of a ride! After months of researching I came across an organization that specializes in volunteering abroad at very reasonable prices. I contacted them with one million questions and finally decided I would do it! The only problem is I didn’t have peace in Mexico. Not anything to do with everyone around me telling me that I would be kidnapped, murdered and greeted by the drug cartel, but I just didn’t have peace. I continued to research. Guatemala? Where the ham sandwich is Guatemala and why do I feel the need to go?

I researched Guatemala and the work they do over there. Spanish speaking? Volunteer opportunities. Okay, whatever. I’m game. During this time I was going through a battle between what I wanted for my life and what God wanted for my life. I never heard from God, but I thought going to an entirely new country was a good time to start listening. I prayed to God ‘Is this what you want me to do? Can I go to Guatemala?’ I really wanted to go at this point, but didn’t and definitely wouldn’t go if I didn’t feel the peace of God. One day I was cleaning my apartment and Jesse Duplantis (One of the funniest preachers ever) was on TBN. The TV was muted and I just happened to turn it up. At the exact moment I turned up the TV Jesse says, ‘you’re waiting on an answer from God, and maybe God is saying I trust you enough to just go!’ I lost it! OMG – God did you really just confirm something? To me? WOW! Immediately feelings of doubt and selfishness set in (the enemy). No this can’t be God. I heard what I wanted to because I want to go to Guatemala, it has nothing to do with God.

I walked out of my bedroom and into the living room and James 1:8 dropped in my spirit ‘A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.’ OMG. This was God! I was so overwhelmed with feelings of acceptance. I felt accepted into the body of Christ, like I can hear God too, (as if that validates my Christianity.)

I paid the registration fee through the organization and I was set to go. Only thing left to do: Tell my job, my family and prepare to go.

That didn’t go as easy as I thought. I was met with resistance, not concern. I was told that I did not hear from God, God would never tell me to go and on top of all of that, do I not understand the dangers of going to another country such as Guatemala? I was so confused. Why are people not supportive of my decision to do good in the world?

I was set to leave in less than 3 months and circumstances were not any easier. Within 2 months of my departure date I opted not to go. Not because I had other plans or because I chose to do different, but because I was met with fear and I allowed it to consume and guide me. Turns out, it was in God’s plans. What happened the next 6 months was truly mind-blowing. I was changed and those around me were changed. God absolutely was in my corner and I knew it!

I accepted that Guatemala wasn’t in the plans for that year, but the peace I had with this place- maybe another time?

Fast-forward 6 months. I began researching again. I wrote the organization and told them I was back on board. At this point I didn’t know what the heck was going on, but I was going to Guatemala. Again, met with resistance, this time it was a bit worse because I had already been through it and I’m sure people were thinking why didn’t she get it the first time. WE DON’T SUPPORT HER GOING. Oh well! I set a date, June 23rd and I’m off.

During this time fear began to creep into my heart. What if this isn’t the will of God, what if everyone was warning me against something bad that will happen if I go? Then I thought, ‘what if I do go and nothing bad happens, what if I have a great time, what if I hear God over there?’ I made a decision to continue moving forward no matter the noise.

Due to financial issues, I decided, at the last minute, that I would travel to Guatemala alone instead of with an organization.

You could bet all hell broke loose! Now you’re really gonna get kidnapped, raped and murdered! You’re for sure out of God’s will. You’re definitely tripping!

May 2013: I left my job, I left my set place and I moved back home to Indiana. Everything was grand until the feelings of WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO showed up!

So much happened, but I kept moving forward. I never allowed my mistakes or misunderstandings to stop me from what I felt called to do.

The day finally came. Sunday, June 23rd was here and I was in a car with my uncle, my dad and his female friend traveling to the airport.

God you’re with me. God you’re with me. God you’re with me. I continued to recite this in my head. Was I freaking out? A little. Did I have peace? A ton. What God with me? Without a doubt.

Indianapolis to Chicago. You can still end the trip here Angel, you’re only 4 hours from home. Chicago to Houston. You could pay for a hotel, beg the airlines to let you go back home, you’re still in America Angel. Nope. We’re (me and God) are still going.

Houston to Guatemala City boarding group 1. Oh crap! This is it.

Bienvenido a la ciudad de Guatemala!

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I am in Guatemala. OMG. I am in Guatemala. I couldn’t believe it. I was so shocked. I got my backpack, walked outside and looked for my driver holding a sign with my name on it. I met Raul, a Guatemalan who grew up in Guatemala City now living in Antigua – I’m assuming because the party scene is better ;)

The trip to Antigua took about an hour. I seen women, men, children and animals. I seen restaurants, cars, trees and a beautiful sky. I felt peace and the fear I had turned into common sense. I wasn’t afraid anymore, but alert.

Me and Raul spoke about life in America and why I was in his country. I didn’t want to tell him the things others warned me about because I thought it would offend him, this is his country – his home.

I arrive at my destination that I would be staying at for the next week. On top of it being a long day in airports I was a bit nervous about walking the streets of Antigua alone. I’ll rest tonight and tomorrow I will definitely face any fears I may have!

Monday morning came and I woke early – 7am! Called my family to let them know I was still alive and I hit the pavement. I walked all over the city alone! Not once did I feel threatened! I was doing quite well with my Spanish and made it a point to speak to everyone I passed! Hola Señora! Buenos días Señor! Everyone spoke back! It was beautiful. Here I was in Antigua, Guatemala all by myself speaking Spanish and I’m still alive! God, we did it. OMG!

The next few days were great until I began feeling sick. Body aches, headaches and stomach cramps. Don’t kill me, guys, but I did not get any shots. I know I know! I thought, maybe if I get some medicine, it will be gone. The following day it was still there. I began to freak out. I didn’t have the extra money to change my flight but I knew God had me.

At this point along with being sick I felt as though I seen what I came to see. I did what I came to do and it wasn’t even about Guatemala.

My last night there it all hit me like a wall of falling bricks. This was bigger than Guatemala. I learned things in the process to Guatemala.

1. It doesn’t matter how deep it gets or how hard it is, keep moving forward.

2. No one has the right to discuss, confront or challenge the relationship between you and God.

3. Fear isn’t always bad. There is fear that warns you and there is fear that paralyzes you. Feel God’s peace and differentiate the two.

4. Never allow someone else’s opinions affect your ability to conquer anything God says you can.

5. NO matter how many nos you hear, all you need is one yes from God to proceed!

And THAT is what Guatemala taught me! I will definitely visit this beautiful country again in the future, it has taught me so much about me and for that I will be forever grateful! It was the first country I visited and I will not stop there!

*Oh and I called the airline a few times letting them know the situation and finally, they waved the $375 fee! Ain’t God good!

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Have a wonderful Holiday! May God make all of your DREAMS come true! Never stop moving forward!

COVER HER

“If you heal one woman, you heal all women.” Iyanlya Vanzant
Growing up I was such a tomboy! You could either find me on the basketball court, or playing football with all the dirt ball boys outside! I was always in a tree or crawling under a fence (because I never wanted to get my skin pushed back by scrapping over the top and I wasn’t smooth enough to just jump over!) NO matter the day, I was with my friends, mostly guys and doing something crazy. As I got older, my desires changed and so did my circle. I’m still very close to a few guy friends, but I welcome, with open arms, the friendship of women. I’ve noticed a lot of women do not.

How many times have you met a woman and first thing outta her mouth, ‘I don’t hang with females, they’re too much drama, or they don’t like me or they’re not trustworthy?’
As my relationships with these women began to deepen and flourish I started asking questions. Why don’t you hang out with other women? Why do you want to be in a group of only men? What do you really have against other women?

| Can I be honest? I can’t deal with the clingy, overly emotional, always jumping to conclusions parts of women – but that’s not ALL women, and sometimes that’s ALL me! |

And through all of this curiosity, the same things started rising; insecurity, betrayal, unforgiveness, resent. Who would’ve guessed? All of these amazing women who were missing out on potentially life altering relatonsihps with other women because of their unhappiness within themselves and with other women who have cut them so deeply.
I was very surprised. That wasn’t one of my struggles – I’ve never been so deeply hurt by another woman that I’ve decided to throw any future friendship out the window. But I struggle with gossip. I struggle with insecurity at times, I struggle with trusting after betrayal and occassionally I give the side eye to another woman who has done absolutely nothing to me because I’m not feeling my best on a certain day.

But don’t mind me, I’m just being transparent. 

But I wanted more, and every day I strive for me. And I know that my friends, your friends and YOU want more. You don’t want to sit in pain and miss out on amazing friendships with other women, because let’s be honest; we’re pretty awesome! This is why I created Cover Her ™

 Cover Her™ is a community for women who know their worth, who want healing, amazing friendships and ready to be whole. A place where women are challenged to dig deep into their souls and confront the most broken pieces, forgiving the most unforgivable and releasing the story that is causing you to remain stuck in your pain.

Facing your pain with boldness and expectation will create powerful shifts in your life that will lead to healing and God-freedom that exceeds anything you’ve ever imagined!

 Cover your sisters, meet women who will cover you, dig deep, discover your power and conquer your world!

This is going to be an epic ride, and I want you to be a part of it! As Cover Her ™ flourishes we will begin to hold more events to bring all of us together! I am so super excited!

If you’re ready to be a part of Cover Her ™, click here to join the conversation on Facebook while our little big spot on the world wide web is being decorated :)

 

REGISTRATION FOR THE VERY FIRST COVER HER EVENT IS NOW OPEN!

You do not have to be bound to your past. What happened to you is not an indicator of who you can become! It happened, yes. But you are completely capable of forgiving, letting go and being more!

Make a choice.

Today I choose to no longer be attached to and held captive by the things that happened to me. I am making a choice to tell my story in a way that will catapult me into my next!

Visit here to grab your front row seat now! 

*THIS IS A LIVE EVENT HELD IN SOUTHERN INDIANA