Loneliness is a common complaint from a majority of people in the world today. It’s no fun to feel lonely, but the feeling is quite normal from time to time. To feel lonely means that you feel alone and this feeling can come when you are alone or even when you are surrounded by people. Being alone and lonely are not the same things though. You can be alone and not feel lonely and that is our goal when it comes to this topic.
Loneliness can eat you up if you allow it. It’s a dreaded ache that surfaces most times when we are alone. You feel separated, unloved, and sometimes like no one cares about you at all. Many people go to great lengths to dull that feeling, but not in positive ways. They reach for things like alcohol or drugs to numb the pain or they hop into a relationship prematurely to try to ease the feeling. Such measures may give you temporary relief but one day those feelings will rise again and want you to contend with them.
So how can you contend with loneliness? First of all, when the feeling arises, acknowledge it. Feel it. Say, “I feel lonely”. To embrace your feelings decreases their intensity. To feel lonely is not the worst thing in the world and as you embrace it and allow it to process through your body, chances are the feeling will come less and less. When you resist such an emotions, it tends to grow in intensity.
If your loneliness stems from some childhood trauma or neglect, you may find help in therapy. There’s no shame in that. If you’re simply feeling lonely because you do not have family or friends surrounding you, take some action steps toward spending some quality time with such. Facebook doesn’t count here. When you authentically connect with people face to face, your loneliness levels will decrease.
So the next time you feel lonely, don’t let it consume you. Feel it, acknowledge it, and sit with it. If you notice you’re lonely because you’ve been isolating yourself, get together with a friend or family members. You don’t have to live a lonely life.